


What Are You Doing Here?

by VigilantSycamore



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humour, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 01:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13089492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigilantSycamore/pseuds/VigilantSycamore
Summary: Batman started messaging CatwomanBatman (23:39): What are you doing here?Catwoman (23:39): that’s a rude way of saying helloBatman (23:39): Hello. What are you doing here?Catwoman (23:40): u know i’m only letting u get away with that because i like u, right? >:|





	What Are You Doing Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Just to clear things up, Bruce's contact name is the one Selina sees on her phone and Selina's contact name is the one Bruce sees on his phone. Except in the group chat, where it's their usernames instead.  
> Also, this is inspired by the Jess/Matt fanfic "The First Step to Falling In Love", by theshippingprince. It's really great - if you're a Messica shipper or even if you're amenable to the pairing, you should totally check it out.  
> Anyway, on to my story. I hope you enjoy it, and please leave comments.

_Batman started messaging Catwoman_

**Batman (23:39):** What are you doing here?

**Catwoman (23:39):** that’s a rude way of saying hello

**Batman (23:39):** Hello. What are you doing here?

**Catwoman (23:40):** u know i’m only letting u get away with that because i like u, right?  >:|

**Catwoman (23:40):** and for the record, i’m casing this place for a burglary

**Catwoman (23:40):** u?

**Batman (23:40):** Stake-out. I’m waiting until I can turn it into a drugs bust.

**Catwoman (23:40):** any luck?

**Batman (23:41):** I’ve been sitting in my car for five hours thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds.

**Batman (23:41):** By the time you finish reading that text, not by the time I finish writing it.

**Catwoman (23:41):** dork ;)

* * *

 

**Catwoman (23:44):** i’m bored

**Batman (23:44):** Patience is a virtue.

**Catwoman (23:44):** shut up spooky

**Batman (23:44):** I thought I asked you to stop calling me that.

_Catwoman changed Batman’s contact to spooky at 23:44_

**spooky (23:45):** Seriously?

**Catwoman (23:45):** wait, u can see what i do on my comm?

**spooky (23:45):** I had Oracle give me read-only access to everybody’s comms, in case they get stolen.

**Catwoman (23:45):** so u thought there was a risk that someone would steal my comm from me? i’m insulted

**spooky (23:45):** If it’s incredibly unlikely, it’s even more important to prepare for the possibility. Hence the orbital railgun with kryptonite bullets tracking the boy scout’s location just in case.

**Catwoman (23:45):** that’s actually terrifying

**Catwoman (23:45):** good thing i’m the only one allowed to corrupt u

**spooky (23:45):** You have not corrupted me.

**Catwoman (23:46):** yes i have

**spooky (23:46):** :/

* * *

 

**Catwoman (23:50):** omg

**Catwoman (23:50):** did u just

**Catwoman (23:50):** i must take a screenshot to capture this moment for all eternity

**Catwoman (23:50):** i will hold onto this blackmail material forever

**spooky (23:50):** My God, what have I done?

**Catwoman (23:51):** u can just call me catwoman, and u know exactly what u’ve done

**spooky (23:51):** Or I can just call you Hello Kitty.

**Catwoman (23:51):** don’t u dare

**Catwoman (23:51):** u know how much i hate that nickname

**Catwoman (23:51):** this is revenge for spooky isn’t it?

**spooky (23:52):** Yes it is.

_spooky changed Catwoman’s contact to Hello Kitty at 23:52_

**spooky (23:52):** Would it surprise you to find out that I’ve been steering the conversation towards this point ever since 23:45?

**Hello Kitty (23:52):** bastard

_spooky changed Hello Kitty’s contact to feline fatale at 23:53_

**spooky (23:53):** Did you just hack my comm?

**spooky (23:53):** Because the security on it is supposed to be impenetrable.

**feline fatale (23:53):** what do u think i’ve been doing 4 the last 8 minutes?

**feline fatale (23:53):** also, insert obligatory penetration joke here

**spooky (23:53):** So you’re saying you’ve been hacking my phone ever since you changed my contact to ‘spooky’, just in case I’d steer the conversation to a point where I can change your contact to ‘Hello Kitty’ in revenge for the aforementioned change of my contact to ‘spooky’?

**feline fatale (23:53):** yes

**spooky (23:54):** I love you.

**feline fatale (23:54):** i love you too

* * *

 

**feline fatale (00:00):** i’m hungry

**feline fatale (00:00):** u?

**spooky (00:00):** I’ve got Hostess Fruit Pies.

**feline fatale (00:00):** lucky bastard

**feline fatale (00:00):** u gonna share?

**spooky (00:01):** How? We’re in two different cars.

**feline fatale (00:01):** share the fruit pies or u sleep on the couch

**feline fatale (00:01):** the one in the cave

**feline fatale (00:01):** right under the bat colony

**spooky (00:02):** The nightguard’s going to go back inside in approximately thirty seconds.

**feline fatale (00:02):** :D

* * *

 

_thiscathasclaws has logged onto the group chat at 00:15_

_ZorroHolmes has logged onto the group chat at 00:15_

**ZorroHolmes (00:15):** Cat and I ran into a bit of unexpected trouble. We’re going to need backup.

**thiscathasclaws (00:15):** we’re at the same place, btw

**thiscathasclaws (00:15):** funny how that turned out

**WingingIt (00:16):** Oracle’s sent me the location. I’m on my way.

**ZorroHolmes (00:16):** We appreciate it. Thanks for stepping up.

_ZorroHolmes_ _has left the group chat at 00:17_

_thiscathasclaws has left the group chat at 00:17_

* * *

 

**feline fatale (00:17):** they bought it

**spooky (00:17):** Let’s go.

* * *

 

**WingingIt (00:21):** They’re not here.

**WingingIt (00:21):** @thiscathasclaws, @ZorroHolmes, where are you guys?

**WingingIt (00:23):** @theAllSeeingOracle, where are they?

**theAllSeeingOracle (00:23):** Their cars are parked outside a hotel, so…

**WingingIt (00:23):** Seriously!?

**WingingIt (00:23):** @thiscathasclaws, @ZorroHolmes, you guys are such me’s


End file.
